high hopes

Shortcake (Emma) wants in on her Grammy's talent show. This short video is proof that both Emma and Hannah want a piece of the church festival pie-their hopes are high that they'll make the cuts.

Special thanks to Grammy and her Co-Cheese for stirring up such anticipation about the talent show!

Announcing SELAH...

...on January 27th at 8:14pm, we welcomed new life into our family. SELAH GRACE MCLEAN was born at 7lbs./7oz. and 21 inches. She joined her older sisters, Emma (3 and 1/2 years) and Hannah (23 months). In short, our lives are very full.
Looking back after five weeks, I share with pure joy the celebration of Selah entering into this world. The celebration began at Selah's baby shower in mid-January. I was totally humbled by that day - my dear friends, Kate Baker, Molly Corrigan, and Anne Smith hosted a special brunch with a collection of precious friends. We shared a meal and my sisters prayed Scripture over Selah, me, and our family for somewhere near 45 minutes - it was a holy and beautiful time, and I knew those prayers brought blessings on Selah's life, even before she entered the world. Thanks to each one who shared in the celebration of Selah's life on that day - you blessed us greatly.
Days passed, and my mom (Grammy) came into town to help me during labor and delivery and to take care of Emma and Hannah while we were in the hospital. My mom has been with Colin and me during all three labor and deliveries and each time she has been so loving and helpful (thank you, Mom - I love you deeply!). I hope to show my daughters that same kind of love some day - and, I also hope for that chance to love my girls during the births of our grandchildren.

Similar to the labor and deliveries of Emma and Hannah, we arrived at the hospital on the previous night for preparation to be induced with Selah on the following day. Grammy took care of Emma and Hannah that night while Colin and I went on an overnight date to St. David's South Austin Hospital (most people don't consider admittance to a hospital a "date," so that term should provide a reference of our little life). It was a really pleasant night - the room was very quiet, and we played Scrabble and listened to worship music for a couple hours (yes, it takes our-competitive-selves hours to finish a Scrabble game).

My doctor and our very dear friend, Renee Lockey, stopped by on her way home from the gym - just to pray with and encourage us, and it was a sweet, sweet time with her. Thank you, Renee, for loving us.
By mid-afternoon on the next day, I had dialated only to 1.5 cm. Colin and I had finished two additional Scrabble games, and my mom arrived while Jamie Talley took care of Emma and Hannah (thank you, Jamie - we're grateful that our ladies were in good and loving hands). I had crazy labor pains, an epidural at 6 cm. (THANK GOD for epidurals!), and a visit at 7pm from our dear friends, Kate and Molly, who thought they were visiting to see Selah (who had not yet arrived). I invited Kate and Molly to join our labor and delivery team - this A-team was Colin and my mom (coaching), Dr. Lockey (leading), Kate and Molly (praying), me (laboring), and Selah (arriving). Just when I dialated to 10 cm., our team joined hands together and prayed.

Dr. Lockey continued to bless us, as she let Colin get into scrubs and catch Selah and my mom cut the cord. Selah's delivery was simply a joyful time.

While at the hospital, we had a few memorable visits from some special friends. Thank you, Terra McDaniel, Jenny Rose Ford, and Anne Smith for encouraging me and showing our family love during this special time in our lives - you blessed us greatly.
But the love and encouragement didn't stop there...it has continued since Selah's birth. Christy Schooler served us in a powerful way by setting up meals for our family - we were fed for an ENTIRE MONTH and we're grateful for all who brought us a meal. And our neighbors...a special thanks to you for the meals, encouragement, and helping with Emma and Hannah!
Colin and I came home to two flower bouquets - each from our respective colleagues - thank you, those flowers brightened our arrival home!
My sister, Lori, and nephew, Mason, came to our rescue to help take care of the girls while Colin traveled to Europe just 10 days into Selah's life. Thank you, Baumanns, for your love for us - you hold a very special place in our hearts!

Sweet Selah...

...we're not sleeping much; our house is messy; and things feel a bit chaotic, but none of those undermine the joy we have with this family-of-five. Selah Grace McLean, you are well loved, and Daddy and I are deeply humbled by God's grace and family and friends who have loved, encouraged, and served us during this precious time.

Big Sisters

I am so glad to share this photo of our precious BIG sisters, Emma and Hannah! Thank you, Jamie Talley, for taking that precious shot of our little ladies!

Here's a video of the ladies singing the ABCs on their stage.
Note their unique features - Hannah has very fair skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair; Emma is olive-skinned, dark hair, and dark eyes...we're expecting Selah to have reddish skin tone, strawberry-blonde hair, and some other features that make her distinct from her sisters!

My Role as a Woman

Woman friends, I implore you to think about your role as a woman in our society - what are your roles and how have you been trained for those roles? These questions are important to me, as I mother three little ladies (two now and one arriving in just days). I have come to realize that I'm not alone on this quest to understand and live out my role as a woman. In fact, I've been reflecting on my role as a WOMAN for the past several weeks. I am writing this blog post as an introspection into who I am as a woman, but also to help me think about what it means to rear girls. I pray that my reflection will help me, and other women who resonate with these same issues, to understand my roles and to nurture and train up my children.

Many years ago, I experienced the social implications of feminism and lived out the various experiences that made up "what I want," "what I need," "what I can do," and "what I deserve." I was surrounded by like-minded women and the men who encouraged a lifestyle that surrounded "women's rights," "self-focus" and a disregard for traditional roles. "I could do and have it all." At the time, I was at UCLA and on "the right track" toward what Americans (and American feminists) would deem, "success."

But God had a plan for me that differed from the American view of success and what it would mean to live as a woman of God, as a daughter of the King, in our society. God showered me with His grace, and I faithfully accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, but it wasn't until Colin and I married that I started to experience my roles as a woman, both in thinking and practice, were changing.

The initial days of marriage were a time of learning, both for Colin and me. Colin comes from a traditional and patriarchical background in which women (and men) were given specific roles. I came into our marriage with expectations that men and women had equality in roles, including marriage roles - I think the sociological term is "egalitarian." Now take those differing expectations and put them into a marriage with two people who naturally lead...

...years pass, and in hinds sight, our God has taken two people with totally different backgrounds, mindsets, lifestyles, and expectations, united us together with His Holy Spirit in marriage, and helped us to realize the beauty of our roles as husband and wife and brother and sister in Christ. Colin and I are equally yoked. But this post is not about marriage, it's about my role as a woman, so back to the point.

My role as an academic and professional. I had many amazing opportunities to achieve academically and professionally - I give God the glory for these opportunities, as I know most people, and most women, never get to experience them. It was through these roles that I received valuable professional training. I was focused on my dream of achieving, and I structured my life in a way that was pleasing to me.

My role as a new wife. I kept the academic and professional roles and then added the wife role. At the time, Colin worked A LOT, and so my roles as academic and professional seemed to align with his role as professional (he was a professional work-aholic at the time).

My role as a new mom. Welcoming Emma into the world was where the rubber met the road. I added "mom," and "new mom without much training" onto my other roles of academic, professional, and wife (in temporal order and not value-order).



Roles and training - I realized I had roles of professional and academic for which I was well-trained and now role of wife and mother for which I had virtually no training. Being a wife, mom, professional, and graduate student was nothing short of trying. At initial glance, I felt skilled at my job and in graduate school - I knew what it would take to achieve and followed those prescribed steps. It was motherhood where I gained the most learning. God showed me quickly that I needed to rely on Him most as a wife and mother, and He has been faithful to train me up.

Honestly, my role as mom initially was a challenge. I didn't "get" playdates. I had no idea that cleaning multiple times each day with little ones really had no impact on whether the house was clean at the end of the day. I would finish coloring, flashcards, reading, singing, and playing by around 10am and wonder what to do with the rest of our day. The idea or realization of "achievement" wasn't an option for the stay-at-home mom - I wasn't dealing with projects, but with sweet, little people who needed my all. I realized quickly that this new job was hard work and thankless...but nonetheless eternal, holy, and absolutely beautiful.



Somewhere in this maze, I contemplated the American feminist dream of "having it all" was not "all that." In fact, I admitted to some other feminists that I felt the feminist movement in some ways has been a "lie" (at least to me). It's made women believe in this self-focus and self-deserving life that truly is impossible. If I calculate the hours in the day and days in the week, it is not humanly possible to do well in the various roles of woman, wife, mother, professional, academic, and other...I realized I was trying to accomplish "something," or everything, and that simply was not fruitful for Colin, our girls, or me.

All throughout these experiences, God has done a spiritual and holy work in me - in all honesty, Colin and I could not have come to the decision of me forgoing my career to stay at home and live out the roles of wife and mother without following God's call for our family. Many would say I'm crazy to put off pursuing a promising career, but God showed me that it would be crazy to put off the opportunity for many hours per week of loving my husband and children and caring for their needs. Moreover, my God has been faithful to our commitment to my roles as wife and mother - in these roles more than in any other role throughout my life, God has grown my patience, kindness, love, humility, gentleness, service and joy. You can't learn these eternal qualities in the office or behind a book - they come from experiencing selflessness and deep desire to serve and love; they come from putting others above yourself; they come from serving without any expectation of reward - they come from loving God and pursuing His call to be a wife and mother.

All of this is to say that I agree with the feminist theory that women are equal to men - that notion did not start with American feminism, but with Biblical design whereby God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit created both men and woman in His image...and both equal in His eyes. But, I believe it's problematic to make women think they can and should do everything men in our society typically do...in addition to the many other things women are expected to do.

I am learning about the differing perspectives of Christian women. It seems there's a conservative and cultural viewpoint that Christian women should not work outside the home-their purpose is in the home...but that's not Biblical - Proverbs 31 points to a woman who turned a field into a vineyard and Deborah was a judge. Others may argue that serving exclusively as a wife and mother is forgoing all of our personal interests; we lose out personally if we forgo our careers; God will not provide if we quit our jobs; we will not be as happy without "something of our own." Which camp are you in? For those sisters who God leads toward professionalism, I believe fully that He can use the us in powerful ways, as long as our profession is not our identity, and we realize and live out our identity in Christ. For those He calls to serve exclusively as wife and mother, I also think He can incline our hearts toward personal interests within those roles...

I have experienced a feminism that focuses on "me"...what God has revealed to me has been a role that focuses on anything but myself. Am I missing something (most likely)?

My role now...is to live out what it means to be His daughter; Colin's wife; Emma, Hannah, and Selah's mother; and a sister to all followers of Jesus Christ. In those roles, I hope to continue using the spiritual gifts and human talents that He has given me to bless others. And, when God allows, I hope to engage with others professionally - I trust that He has not enabled me to be trained in this capacity to avoid using me.

What are your roles in our society? Have you been trained for them? How do they align with your roles in God's kingdom? In thinking beyond ourselves, what do we want to show our daughters and how do we train them up?

Women's Roles...

What if…

…the Church of Jesus Christ lived out her role as His bride?

…the Body reflected its unity and community with similar love as the Triune God?

…brothers and sisters believed and lived as if God’s Holy Spirit lives within each of us, each with value and equality, and not one above another?

…we exhorted each other’s spiritual gifts and truly encouraged each other to use them to edify the Body?

…we lived as if “we are the Church” rather than “we go to church” - what then might women's roles look like?

Our God has stirred me to consider the beauty of the Church where Christ is the Head – not only “the Head” in our words, but the Head in how we live…in everything we believe and do. Part of that stirring is a reflection of how our God sees His daughters functioning within His Body. Frank Viola offers some valuable insights into the heart of God regard His beloved daughters and how their lives in Him might be lived out within the Body. Below are excerpts taken from Frank Viola’s, “Reimagining a Woman’s Role in the Church: An Open Letter.”

• “Elizabeth and Mary (not Zachariah and Joseph) are the first to receive the message of Christ’s birth into the world. They are honored and blessed by angels. They are also the first to sing and prophesy about the Christ child.
• The prophetess Anna receives honorable mention as one who speaks of the Messiah to those who have waited for Him (Luke 2:36-38).
• During our Lord’s earthly ministry, a group that Luke calls the Women were just as well known as the Twelve (Luke 8:1-3, 23:49, 24:24). In fact, the twelve male disciples were a rather pitiful bunch when compared to the Lord’s female disciples (Chapter 16).
• Both the Twelve and the Women were among the 120 who waited for the coming of the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost (Acts 1:14). The Women, along with the men, spoke in tongues, declaring the ‘great things of God’ (Acts 2:1-11).
• The Holy Spirit was poured out upon women and men alike – the result being that ‘your daughters shall prophesy’ (Acts 2:17-18).
• In Christ, all earthly barriers have been destroyed. Galatians 3:28 boldly declares, ‘There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond or free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.’ Women, therefore, are not second-class citizens in the church of God.
• Paul and Silas plant a church in Philippi. It begins with all women. Lydia is one of them. She hosts the church meetings in her home. It’s inconceivable to think that the women in the church in Philippi could not speak or function in meetings. The reason? The church was made up mostly of women (Acts 16:12ff).
• Priscilla and her husband, Aquila, teach Apollos the way of the Lord more fully (Acts 18:26). It’s noteworthy that four out of the six times that Priscilla and Aquila are mentioned in the New Testament, Priscilla’s name appears first (Acts 18:18, 26; Romans 16:3; 2 Timothy 4:19). This is ancient shorthand signifying that Priscilla was more spiritually prominent. Also, the fact that her name appears first when she and her husband instructed Apollos indicates that she led in that exchange (Acts 18:26).
• Philip the evangelist had four daughters who were prophetesses (Acts 21:9). This means they prophesied. (Note that first-century prophecy was always done in and among the church. Question: If a woman is prophesying by God’s Spirit, why on earth would a man be barred from hearing it?)
• In 1 Corinthians 11:4-5, Paul says that women may both pray and prophesy when the church comes together (1 Cor 11:1-34). The context of this passage makes clear that Paul is referring to public meetings where both men and women are present (1 Cor. 11-14).
• When Paul wrote his letter to the Roman Christians, he honored the following women for their service in the church: Phoebe, Priscilla, Mary, Tryphena, Tryphosa, Persis, Julia, and the sister of Nereus (Rom. 16). Paul lists about twice as many men as women. But he commends more than twice as many women as he does men.
• In Romans 16:2, Paul calls Phoebe a prostatis, which means ‘one who stands in front of, superintends, guards, and provides care for others.’ The word is a derivative of proistemi, which is used in Romans 12:8, 1 Thessalonians 5:12, and 1 Timothy 5:17.
• Paul mentions Junia as a fellow-apostle (Rom. 16:7). This is the most natural way to construe the statement, ‘notable among apostles.’ And ‘Junia’ is clearly a feminine name.
• In Philippians 4:2-3, Paul makes special mention of Euodias and Syntyche who helped him in the Lord’s work.
• Paul reminds Titus that older women should be ‘teachers of good things.’ They should also teach the younger women (Titus 2:3-5).
• Paul commends Timothy’s mother and grandmother. We can reasonably infer that these two women taught Timothy the holy Scriptures since he was a child (2 Tim. 1:5, 3:5).”

God promises to pour out His Spirit on all people (men and women) (Joel 2:28-29 and Acts 2:17-18). Moreover, Galatians 3:28 supports to the New Covenant of Jesus Christ, showing that "you are all one in Christ Jesus." If you’d like to read more about Frank Viola’s thoughts on women’s roles in the church, visit the PDF link to his letter at http://www.ptmin.org/role.pdf.

Where do I start...?

...when I haven't posted a blog in five months? I'm posting here as I reflect on what I believe has been the most profound influence on our family in the past several months.

The fall was a busy season for our family. On top of being a wife, mom, and prego, I was working and traveling, writing my dissertation, finishing two graduate courses, preparing for graduation, and helping lead a vision team for prayer. It wasn't necessarily that I didn't want to post on our blog. In fact, I helped coordinate our vision team for prayer's blog - I think the reality was that I didn't have time to maintain our blog...or anything else, really.

My reflection...during a challenging season, Colin led us well. I think about what helped enable me to finish "all of the above," and I thank God first for His grace and mercy; He gave me the discipline and obedience that I needed to persevere. Second, I thank God for my Beloved Colin - God helped Colin to press on and serve our family in ways that humbled me. He also has been faithful to Colin and our family and has grown Colin into a Godly man, husband, and father. Some men would find it difficult to do the many things Colin did to see our family through the past semester, to table his immediate interests for the sake of our family's good. Going beyond typical "male roles," Colin regularly cleaned, did laundry, cared for our children, shopped for groceries, and took care of our home (and me) while I wrote the dissertation. Some days were hard - it's not easy to watch my husband work in his job and ministry for our church and then do everything else for our family while I sat there and completely disconnected and wrote. I thanked God so many times for Colin, and yet there were times when I failed to show Colin sincere appreciation because I almost felt embarrassed by how much he was doing and how little (for our family) I was doing. There's a sweet humility in having someone serve you without any expectations in return. Who is that person who would do anything for your good and all to please God? Who would you put above your interests and needs to serve?

Jesus is our perfect example of a servant leader. In the past few years, our God has grown Colin into a deep relationship with Himself; through that relationship, I believe more than ever before that my Beloved Colin has become more like the One his heart desires. More now than ever, Colin looks like that Godly and holy man who wants to embrace his role as leader in our family; unlike many in the world and even in the church who pursue leadership, it is only by God's grace that Colin realizes the beauty of leader roles as both Lion and Lamb. Colin is becoming that man who embraces both Christ's authority and His meek and humble spirit - that one who desires the power of walking in His Holy Spirit and yet is willing to go low before Him - knowing that when we are weak, He is made strong. God has shown me in the past semester that my husband leads me and our family well - with kindness, correction, and discipline, but he also leads us well in his willingness and action to get under me and serve me in a way that encourages my walk with our Lord and Savior.

There have been countless times that I thank God for allowing Colin to father our girls. Those little girls delight in his presence, and it truly is a joy to watch the love they have for each other. I pray that one day our girls will know their Father in Heaven with even greater intimacy than they know their father here on earth - that would bring Colin and me true joy.

God used a hard semester for His glory. We did not do all of that stuff on our own accord. Our God was faithful to Colin during a challenging season, and He showed me the love of my husband is holy and pure. I believe our God used 2008 and last semester, in particular, to show us the need for and value in our oneness with His Holy Spirit - our marriage seems stronger now than ever. We look onto 2009 with much excitement about focusing our marriage and oneness with each other and God to serve each other, our family, and others...pointing always to the Cross.

And...our God is blessing us with a third daughter, and Selah will arrive around January 27th. We are overjoyed at her soon-arrival.

A) Grandmother and great grandmother, B) short and old Italian lady, C) flower and condiment thief, or D) all of the above?

…this is a picture of Nanie, and she certainly fits the category of “D) all of the above.”

The other day, I recalled a few special memories of this woman who I endearingly refer to as, “Grandmere,” French for “grandmother” – even though she’s full Italian.

Recently, I watched Emma pick flowers all around our yard. She tells me, “Ah Mama, I really lub flowers.” And then, as I was tending our garden, I wondered where I could get some colorful flowers to plant in our garden. Grocery store parking lots? Other people’s yards? Hu?

It just hit me. I’ll never forget the excitement and earnestness in her voice, “Lori, Jeff, remember to get the roots! Remember to get the whole root!” I was about 16, and new to driving; that made Lori about 14 and Jeff about 11. Nanie would have us drive her around, in search of flowers to plant in her garden. But, she wasn’t having us take her to a nursery or plant store of any kind. She’d make me drive by the old Lucky’s Market in Orcutt, and we’d have to target the planters just next to the 7-11. Sadly for some folk, she also had us drive through the neighborhoods with expectations of stopping whenever someone had a yard filled with color. She’d have me drive by, Lori and Jeff would jump out and…yes, you guessed it, pull the flower plants from their roots, hop back inside, and then we’d be off. I don't ever recall what she would wear to these priceless events, but if she looked anything like the picture above, with dark glasses and a covered head, then nobody later would be able to spot her; and seriously, she's happy and jolly - nobody would accuse her. Interestingly enough, I don’t think we ever really thought we were stealing. What’s more, Nanie would be thrilled, yes thrilled, when she’d return home to proudly plant her new flowers – as if she just received a free treasure!

As I told my neighbor this story, I laughed and also thought about how Nanie’s purse often was filled with Sweet-in-Low packets and condiments. I recall several times as a child when she would stash restaurant goods into her purse – as if she really, really needed them. And of course, that behavior was justified because she paid to be at the restaurant, so they expected her to use those things (note carefully though that someone else in her party often paid for her to be there!).

This blog post is a tribute to a grandmother and great grandmother, short and old Italian lady (just celebrated her 81st birthday!), and a flower and condiment thief! She gave our childhood some fond and funny memories! We love you, Grandmere, and we hope that Cole isn't now driving you around with Zack and Jacob helping with the swiping...

High gas bill?

Well, I had a high grocery bill yesterday. Now that Emma prefers to walk alongside of me at the grocery store, instead of traveling inside the (contained) grocery cart - where I prefer her, we have had some changes in our purchases.

Yesterday, she and I went shopping for a few things. She's quick, so I didn't realize until we hit the check out all the "extra" wonderful things we had "needed" in our cart. At one point, I realized that a few things snuck themselves into our cart, somehow - perhaps I was being really efficient and doing things of which I did not realize...nope. Shortcake was good to put them back, though confused as to why we (Mama) would want to.

And fortunately, I was able to block some others before sneaking into our cart and traveling with us home. I blocked the Cool Whip and some "special" ice creams. Thankfully, I blocked the small watermelon that she was trying to pull from the bottom of the watermelon pyramid. Of course, I blocked the Sponge Bob fruit snacks and stickers (she's decided that Spong Bob must be mysterious and sought after since he's off limits in our home because he's ill-mannered and mean to his friends-my opinion). I blocked the frozen, mini pancakes which she thought were breakfast cookies - seriously, the mini pancake would get lost in our toaster, and I'd likely get electricuted trying to retrieve them - I kept myself from that pain and let her return them to their shelf.

Next, the Little Lady brought me Chicken Taquitos: "Ah Mama, I really lub these." Yes, that "lub" in Emma-bonics means "love" for the rest of us. She told me three times that she promised to eat them if we bought them...suprising to me because I rarely see her eat them, but I gave in to that one.

Now that I think carefully about all that I blocked or required her to return to their places, I'm really surprised at all the junk we still ended up with in our car. That was a high-priced, low-health shopping event. Lesson for next time, spend the extra gas money and extra, extra grocery money and drive downtown to Whole Foods...with the Little Lady inside the cart!

This grocery experience is just one reason why I love that short person! It's great to be her mom and watch her grow into herself. She wants to search the aisles, and in choosing items, she really believes she's helping our family. She generally is helpful, organized, bossy, and independent; her feelings get easily hurt, but she easily forgives (like her sweet Daddy). She encourages her little sister, but also fights with her over toys. She never wants to sleep when the sun is out - which should make bedtime easier for us in the winter. She never wants to sleep alone; in fact, right now, she is sleeping neck-in-neck with her sister - both need to touch skin when they're asleep, and some day, it'll be great for Colin and me if that skin is not ours'!

Hinds' Feet on High-Places

I’ve read a couple good books recently and decided to blog about them. If you’re a reader, then pay close attention. The first is Hannah Hurnard’s Hinds’ Feet on High Places and the second is Redeeming Love. The first was an allegory on the Song of Solomon and the second a love story about Hosea. Yes, both are spiritual in nature – and both point to heavenly promises.

I haven’t read much aside from “education-related” books or theology-centered texts in quite a while – partly because I’m easily bored, and partly because I took little enjoyment in reading beyond what was required. So in addition to being a new gardener of vegetables and flowers, I’m now reading for pleasure…what’s happening to me? I need to finish my dissertation. Anyway, here goes…

Hinds’ Feet on High Places, the story of Much-Afraid and her journey to high places. The story is based on Habukkuk 3:19, The Lord GOD is my strength, And He has made my feet like hinds' feet, And makes me walk on my high places. Hurnard offers a beautiful allegory on the Song of Solomon, showing throughout the book how God loves us, and shows us great mercy, grace, wisdom, and patience. Every step in our spiritual journey, He is preparing us to run with Him. This is a sweet book – you don’t want to miss it.

Song of Solomon 2:8 reads, Listen! My beloved! Behold, he is coming, Climbing on the mountains, Leaping on the hills! Mountains and hills do not stop our savior from coming to us, from showing great love. Think about it, though, unless we have those hinds’ feet to run with Him on high-places, we will be unable, inhibited, challenged. For those who deeply love Him, we are not hindered from pursuing Him by life’s many challenges and obstacles – only because He, being rich in grace and mercy, builds our faith and gives us hinds’ feet to run with Him.

Although we desire to run with Him, we are faced with many human-challenges. In this story, Much-Afraid is part of the Fearing Family, and they live in the Valley of Humiliation. Fear breeds fear, but unlike all her past experiences and current relationships with her family, the reader learns quickly in this chapter that Much-Afraid’s relationship with the Great Shepherd shows that “’perfect love casteth out fear (p.17).’” And yet, even though she deeply wanted to know true love, her innate fear gave her great doubt.

Although she was willing to pursue true love, she was not yet ready to run with her True Love – she could not make herself ready; He would prepare her. As desire grows to follow the One her heart desires, the One whom her soul loves, fear also grew – nearly consuming her every thought and action. And yet, she agrees to follow wherever the Great Shepherd will take her, as He promises to give her hinds’ feet so she can run with Him to high-places. The Great Shepherd knows she cannot get to high-places on her own, so He gives her two helpers: Sorrow and Suffering. Sounds depressing, hu?! Keep reading.

She soon encounters Pride, and is almost deceived to believe prideful lies and follows him instead of the shepherd. She then walks through the Desert, distrusting the Shepherd initially because He promised to take her to high-places, and the desert was the lowest of places. And then, He teaches her something life-changing: Isaiah 28:27-28, For dill is not threshed with a threshing sledge, Nor is the cartwheel driven over cummin; But dill is beaten out with a rod, and cummin with a club. Grain for bread is crushed, Indeed, he does not continue to thresh it forever. Because the wheel of his cart and his horses eventually damage it, He does not thresh it longer. The Shepherd replies in this, “’I bring my people into Egypt that they, too, may be threshed and ground into the finest powder and may become bread corn for the use of others. But remember, though bread corn is bruised, no one threshes it forever…(p.88).” Even though Much-Afraid feels badly bruised and hurt, she trusts that God will not allow her to be threshed forever – He will protect. I think back on times, places, and experiences when God has called me to endure. I think back to when He brought me out of Egypt and into His promise land. What do lovers of Jesus experience in the desert? Where do we find ourselves in that place? At what point in our walk with our Lord, do we hold fast and trust that place where He has brought us, believing fully in Him and as a result accepting the desert with joy?

Much-Afraid ventures onto the Shores of Loneliness where Pride, Self-Pity, and Bitterness visited her. The shepherd advised her, “When you wear the weed of impatience in your heart, instead of the flower of Acceptance-with-Joy, you will always find your enemies get an advantage over you (p. 104).” When in our lives do we forget to accept with joy where He has us? When do we wear that weed of impatience in our heart and as a result feel attacked by the enemy? Is it during the times when things seem to be going well – those times when we think we can do it on our own? And somehow in His great mercy, He reminds us that He is in control. When that happens, it seems the enemy has such little influence, if any at all.

The Great Shepherd requires that she go through the Forests of Danger and Tribulation and the Mist – where they barely could see the path they were to follow. She asked the Great Shepherd, after many, many travels whether He would ever deceive her, and take her somewhere only to leave her and humiliate her. Our God is not a God of lies or deception. But, do you ever wonder if you felt deceived by Him whether you’d continue to follow? And, how sad it is for those people who are so often deceived by the enemy and don’t realize it.

I liked the chapter on the Valley of Loss because it’s in that chapter that Much-Afraid thinks she has lost the Shepherd. I love the lines where she admits, “’If you can deceive me, my Lord, about the promise and the hinds’ feet and the new name or anything else, you may, indeed you may; only don’t let me leave you. Don’t let anything turn me back (p. 173).’” How often do we pray and ask God never to let us leave Him? Like Paul, I want to finish the race – I pray that God will never let me leave Him…regardless of where He will take me.

Together, Much-Afraid and the Shepherd sing a version of the Song 6:1-3:

She sang -
1Where has your beloved gone,
O most beautiful among women?
Where has your beloved turned,
That we may seek him with you?
He sang -
2My beloved has gone down to his garden,
To the beds of balsam,
To pasture his flock in the gardens
And gather lilies.

When Much-Afraid fears that she cannot find the Shepherd, she soon realizes that He has gone down into the valley to shepherd and tend His flock. He is a Great Shepherd who can run on high-places, with much joy, but also the same Shepherd who loves those in low places who need Him most. Sweet.

Much-Afraid ventures to the Place of Anointing, the Floods, and the Grave on the Mountains before she arrives to the Healing Streams and receives hinds’ feet to run on high-places. Sounds like Jesus, hu? The Shepherd led her in such a way that once she experienced the joy of high-places, she desired greatly to return back to the low-places, to reach out to and encourage those who needed joy and hope in their lives. I think about Christians in general, me included, and how often we hold to ourselves; when do we experience such great joy and hope in the Lord that we don’t want to stay just with each other on high places, but we want to return back to the valley to share that with others? When do we say to the Lord that He has made us clean and new, and we don’t want to get dirty, again?

With all of that, Hinds’ Feet on High-Places is a really good read – for you spiritual folk. There’s a sad story behind it, so after you’ve read the book, shoot me a note, and I’ll fill you in. Of course, read the Song of Solomon, the finest among love songs, to fully understand true love between God and Israel, Christ and the Church, Jesus and the individual believer, and husband and wife.

Here's a photo of my love and me, enjoying the amazing beauty and romance of Venice, Italy:

Next post on Redeeming Love...

To blog or not to blog?

...that has been the question for me for the past four months. I've had a "blog-block" for a while, with no intention of posting again. Something inside is stirring, though. Perhaps, it's a return to the blog...and plus, the Love Hat simply couldn't be the last posting for me.

I'm not sure where to start - so much has happened with us in four months - we went to California, Denver, Vale, Europe - Scotland, England, Austria, Italy, and France; we celebrated our girls' birthdays with a huge birthday bash-about 65 people, 30 whose average age was three years; we announced our third pregnancy (very exciting!); Mimi spent a week with us; Hannah started walking (finally, at 13.5 months); we caught a terrible stomach bug at Vacation Bible School that lasted a week, and we gave it to no less than 17 other people (literally); we started a group on community in our neighborhood, with a focus on how God calls us to live and are excited to share that eight families participate; our backyard and patio are complete - thankfully, we use it all the time now; Emma and I planted flower and vegetable gardens, which we tend each morning; I've worked tirelessly on my dissertation, still pressing on and still needing much discipline and perseverance; there have been two straight weeks of temperatures 100* degrees in Austin; and so much more!

With all that "doing" and "happening," our family is in a good and peaceful place. God is teaching us daily to love and trust Him more deeply than ever before, and as His love fills Colin and me, it pours over from us into our girls. I pray He will fill them with a holy love that comes only from above; and, may their hearts overflow to others who need His love.

Next post - sometime soon...